Girlsgotaface: BIRTH STORY | Inductions, Caesareans and Honesty.

My birth story.

(Before you read any further I want to just say if you're pregnant and scared this probably isn't the story for you, I found people telling me the horror stories of birth really freaked me out so heres a lill trigger warning for those of you who fear birth) I like most women had a regular pregnancy, the vomiting, backache & headaches etc all the usual stuff with a bout of low blood pressure and dizziness but relatively normal until around 30 weeks. I'd had a fair few episodes of decreased fetal movement from about 20 weeks and while being monitored I was measured, a lady bought up her concerns that I was quite small despite gaining 4 stone. I'd been constantly told by people I had a tiny bump and I really did, I didn't even need maternity jeans!

(I was around 37 weeks pregnant here so you can see I had a small bump!) Anyway they decided to do another glucose test just incase I had diabetes and the first test missed it, I did it and still no diabetes so they thought I should have a scan to check all was in order, I had my scan and told I'd be having a baby that was around 7lb at this point, just a little high pressure in his cord and too much fluid around him so they booked me in for weekly scans to check his growth, fluid and the cord pressure. The consultant spoke to me about being induced because they were slightly worried about me more than the baby, my anxiety was pretty bad but she also didn't want me to have a premature baby so we agreed we should wait as long as we could. I went for my weekly checks and I went in again for what would be my last scan at 38 weeks and had to see a consultant after to discuss the scan, again high cord pressure that was off the chart but no one seemed to be massively worried. However they gave me an examination, my cervix was closed and unfavourable but they tried a sweep to see if they could get anything going because they were concerned if they induced me I'd have to have a C section and the rate for induction to C section birth for a first baby was quite high, something I didn't want at all but they then did decide I needed to be induced because of their concerns so they booked me in. The 10th of July at 7am. I woke up so excited and nervous and wondering what the day would bring, we got to the hospital parked up and I basically ran to the maternity unit desperate to meet my baby. Wish I'd not been so bloody keen now. There's nothing quite like having a pessary inserted, haha. I got into my bed and the midwife put a slow release pessary on a string in, she took bloody ages but she finally got it in while I laid back acting cool while internally screaming. (If you don't know what a pessary is google it) Then we were told it's a waiting game, so I got out my magazines and chilled for about half hour and I noticed my back was starting to really hurt and my bits were quite sore, probably normal for having a midwife basically put her whole hand in your noony! Anyway she told me to get things on the go I should go for a walk, Jack and I hadn't eaten so we went to go to the cafe as soon as I tried to walk I couldn't stand up properly I felt like I needed to be hunched over and the midwife looked at me like I was faking it she insisted I needed to go, so I shuffled out around the hospital and by the time we got to the cafe I couldn't hide my discomfort I just wanted to rip the damn pessary out. We ate our food, toddled about and went back to the ward for around 2pm as I needed to be checked, we got back and no one was around. I was the only woman on the ward and there was one midwife watching me but I hadn't seen her since about 11am.

Visiting times came and my friend came to see me, by this time I was in internal agony but not like what I thought contractions would be like it was a pushing burning sensation but was made to feel like I was being silly by the midwife, she offered me a cocodomal and left.
(Now this isn't a post to bash midwives. I KNOW 99% do a fantastic job and their jobs are incredibly difficult, I happened to have two horrible ones through different stages of my journey, one of which I had been told numerous people had complained about due to her shocking bedside manner.)
While I went to the toilet the midwife on the induction ward said to my mum and Jack 'if she's like this now I don't know how she'll handle labour' neither of them told me until after but I think that was such a shitty thing for her to say, she didn't even check on me or see if I was ok at any point until my mum went to get her to ask for pain relief, also every pregnancy and birth is different so she couldn't know how I was feeling.
Annnnyway it had hit around 13 hours since the pessary was in and I still was feeling weird down there and just a constant baring down pain. A doctor finally came to see me as it was change over time so they wanted to see how I was doing. He was great come and hooked me up and did a trace and he noticed I was just constantly contracting and baring down then letting up a few seconds and the babies heartbeat was dropping every time so he immediately got about 5 other doctors and nurses to move my bed to the labour ward, they pulled the pessary out and gave me an injection to stop the contractions, they then watched babies heart beat come back up but it was still dipping with every small contraction so I then had to be taken to the delivery suite. They apologised for being left and were now racing to try and correct what was happening.
They decided to pop my waters, now this was probably the most unpleasant thing I've ever experienced. I don't know if it was because a man did it and he had no idea of his hand size vs my very sore and swollen lady garden but he was sure stabbing away with a giant blue plastic needle in there! The classic gush of water happened and I immediately felt the need to go for a wee and was adamant I needed to get up, hilarity ensued as I was hooked up to so many machines I had to try get to the toilet while my waters were flowing, it was like surfing to be honest haha. Jack was on the floor trying to clean up so I didn't slip over and the midwife had vanished yet again. I remember vividly sitting in the loo thinking what the actual eff was happening, you know when you're smashed in the club toilets kinda thing. It all sort of slowed down, no one knew or told us what was happening and I just sat there, wet, confused and friggin knackered. The consultant then came to tell me they needed to get the baby out asap, the wasn't doing so great and there was no time for faffing about so I needed an epidural and to be put on the dreaded hormone drip. 3 times they tried to do an epidural. THREE! I wanted to puke, my worst fears we're having an epidural and a caesarean section so three goes was a joy. They said they thought it was all good but I could still feel my left side, I could feel the needle situated and it was clicking up my back so they immediately knew it wasn't in the right place so I just had to have a full spinal block in the end. We patiently waited for the hormone drip to kick in while I just sat sucking on gas and air, I was basically off my tits for about an hour and don't remember much for this period of time, was obviously having an amazing time haha, Jack went home to get some rest as we'd been up 24 hours by now.
A midwife came next to me to do observations and she just said 'oh your waters have gone everywhere, let me sort this out' I was really confused as they'd already gone way earlier on the bed and in the bathroom then she sheepishly pulled up the drip that was meant to be connected to my hand, looked at me and huffed then legged it out the room. It hadn't been connected so the drip hadn't been in at all and it was all over the floor, my baby was struggling and they'd wasted precious time. In rush a gaggle of consultants, doctors and midwives so inform me I now had no choice but to have a Caesarean, I was exhausted and fuming by this point. I point blank refused in my confused hysterical state. While I sobbed because I didn't want one and I was terrified a woman in a room next to me screamed so much I genuinely thought she was being ripped in two and the midwife said to me she was being a diva and not to worry about it but there's nothing quite like a screaming woman to make you think a c section might not be that bad after all! My doctor came and had a chat with me and talked me round in a very blunt way but I think I needed to hear it so I signed the papers and my mum called Jack to get back as they took me immediately round. Poor guy had only just got back to the flat and into bed and had to come all the way back.
I got loaded onto the surgery table, the radio was playing in the background and I was legitimately the most scared I've ever been in my life. I kept thinking I was falling off the table as I was being tugged about, they apologised but he was truly stuck as I didn't dilate and had been contracting for so long. I actually didn't even know they'd opened me up it was done so quickly!
It was quiet, no noise just mutterings to each other and then my doctor said 'oh he's got gorgeous big eyes' and there was no crying...he was blue all hunched up from the tiny glimpse I got, I laid there just waiting to hear it and then I knew something was wrong.
I had a moment of just wow, Im a mamma then the alarms all went, people ran in and I looked at Jack asking is he ok, he was crying so much I knew it wasn't.
It took nearly 11minutes for them to get him to cry, he was struggling to breathe and was shocked. They were the longest 11 minutes of my life. Jack went and cut the cord and I was finally handed my baby.